Your First Day of Teaching

 You’re tired, and I mean seriously tired.  The previous week was full of professional development days, preparing your lessons (because, hey, you’re starting from scratch), meetings, setting up your classroom, and a shit ton of requirements that your school decides you need to accomplish AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!  Then, all of a sudden, the day arrives. The students are here. Now you have the plans and materials for maybe two or three days, but you did not think of how to present any of it.

With all of that preparation, you know what to teach but not what type of teacher you want to be.  Any ideal vision of your "teacher self" has been blurred beyond recognition.  And, at that point, it doesn’t matter because, like I said, you’re tired.  So you go through the lessons, switching between strict and understanding like a drunk taking a sobriety test.  

                                          Nobody is giving you an apple.  Leave that dream behind now.

All of that preparation seems to have gone out the window as well because the class period never is the right amount of time.  You are either out of plans, staring at the clock, trying so so hard to move it with your mind while you make up a review game, or you hear the bell ring before you had time to fully discuss the meaning of participle (not to mention give the homework assignment).  

Then your saving grace arrives- planning period.  This is a moment for you.  A time to organize the over-copied syllabi on your desk, to take care of grading, to evaluate your mistakes and tell yourself you will not do that again next period.  It sounds great doesn't it?  But you don't do any of that.  

You run around the school looking for the tech guy because your laptop won't connect to the projector.  You go sit in on another teacher's class in order to see how she does it.   You get lost because you are basically a frightened freshman all over again.

The end of the day arrives.  You survived!  You sit at your desk, more exhausted than you ever thought possible.  You take half an hour to do all the things you had hoped to do during planning period.  Then you stare at the pile of notebooks, plans, and textbooks that must be ready for tomorrow.  Nobody expects you to take that all home right?  Grabbing the lightest things to accomplish that night, you decide to come in early for everything else.  

And you are home at last.

Nothing has changed there despite your hectic day, and, to you, that is the most beautiful sight.  You let your bag drop on the kitchen floor as you stare at the fridge.  A light dinner, a bit of grading, a glance at tomorrow's lesson plans.  That's all you have time for before your body takes over.


Then you sleep like you have never slept before.