In Defense of Dandelions

As a child, my father used to warn me about dandelions.  I would be out the door in a frenzy to blow the white-fluff flowers around and make as many wishes as the cosmos would allow.  Three flowers in, my father would walk outside and entreat me not to spread the weed.  “It kills the yard,” he would say.  Instead of simply stopping me from blowing the white ones, he would tempt me to pick all the yellow ones, offering me a nickel for every yellow flower picked.  

                It was not a bad way to make money; even my young self was aware of this.  Yet, when he wasn’t looking, I would blow a burst of seeds into the air.  Now I was doubly motivated- more seeds made more flowers, more flowers meant more nickels.

                As an adult, I still enjoy finding the happy yellow flowers around and will occasionally make a wish as I scatter the seeds.  And, as an adult, I have come to research these “weeds” only to find that perhaps father doesn’t always know best.

                First let’s address the idea that dandelions are weeds.  Yes, it is true that they are fast growers, absorb nutrients, and are very difficult to kill.  In my mind, this makes them super plants.  Their roots can grow through rock, sidewalk, and reach depths of 17 feet. Wow!  But this does not, if spaced right, kill off other plants.  In fact, dandelion roots loosen the soil, making it easier for water and nutrients to reach surrounding plants.  The concept that the dandelion is threatening did not immerge until recently (recently meaning the last couple of centuries).  This was due to the popularity of the ‘lawn.’  Now notice I didn’t say yard.  People have owned land and used their yards as they have pleased for years.  A lawn is different: a lawn must be green grass and only that; a lawn must be even and manicured; a lawn has no room for the stubborn dandelion.

                Did you know that dandelion root, despite being common, is rather pricey compared to other tea ingredients?  If you are looking for organic tea that hasn’t been mixed with any other herbs, you could end up spending anywhere from $14-$35 for a small box.  That only comes with 16 tea bags.  If you drink a cup daily, you won’t get through a month.  Why the high price?  Well, bursting with vitamins (A, B, C, and D) and nutrients (calcium, potassium, and iron- just to name a few), dandelions have wonderful health benefits.  The roasted root for tea is often used as a substitute for coffee, especially by those who are trying to avoid caffeine.   Beyond energy, dandelion has natural chemicals that increase the production of urine.  This helps the body cleanse itself.  Many people use dandelion as a way to help with stomach problems such as indigestion or intestinal gas.  These chemicals also reduce swelling, making dandelion an excellent remedy for bruises.  Scientists are looking into dandelion to help with liver problems and even diabetes. 

In relation to health, some people have allergies to ingesting dandelions.  Like all allergies, this can range from a mild to severe reaction.  To those people, I would recommend NOT eating dandelions in any form.  

                Now, to give my father credit, yes, if you are concerned about your lawn, dandelions will take nutrients from your fragile grass.  If this is a concern for you, please don’t spray them!  Actually, if you let your grass grow above the dandelions, the lack of sun will kill them for you.  Your yard will look wild for a bit, but it is worth saving the soil and wildlife from toxins found in weed killer.  Or, you could go the old fashioned way and pull them out by their roots.  I suggest paying a small child to do this.  They are closer to the ground and are easily swayed by shiny coins.

                No studies have been done on whether or not dandelion wishes have any power.  I’m holding out hope.

Works Cited

"Five Things You Need to Know About Dandelions." GreenerGreenGrass Organic Lawn Care Blog. N.p., 11 Aug. 2010. Web. 24 Feb. 2015.

Pulisher, Charlie. "11 Health Benefits of Dandelion and Dandelion Root - Sunwarrior News." Sunwarrior News RSS. N.p., 15 Apr. 2013. Web. 24 Feb. 2015.

Sanchez, Anita. "Dandelions." Dandelions. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Feb. 2015.

                 

Nobody is out to get you

Quickly think of a villain from a childhood movie.  Got one?  Good.  Now try to sympathize with him or her.

Most likely you can't.  This is because children's movies try to keep things simple.  The good guys may have one or two flaws, but those turn into lessons for the audience.  The bad guys are pretty much that...bad. They kill their henchmen without blinking, they are rude, they are arrogant.   All in all, no body cries when the villain loses. 

They're all good at heart...right?

Do you ever wonder if this idea of a "bad guy" has stained our adult minds.  I have no doubt.  Just look at a few political posts on Facebook:

(Actual examples have been removed out of respect for privacy on FB.  Below are a rough idea.)

*They're all out to take away my (1st, 2nd, 3rd...etc) amendment rights!
*They just want to make it so only they can have (jobs, power, status)!
*Can you believe them?! This law is obviously targeting (me, my social class, race, religion)!


Do you see the common factor here?  Each person believes that the other side is the epitome of evil.  Each Democrat views Republicans as greedy business men who want to strip them of any personal freedoms.  Each Republican views Democrats as self-centered hippies bent on killing babies and wasting government money.


This may be a wake up call, but the "other side" is not a Disney villain.


Each person is doing what they think is best in life.  People who push for government funded programs are not being self centered; they often are hoping to help others.  People who are pro-life are not trying to restrict women to gender roles or trap them, they are concerned about the life of a child.  I'm not saying there are not a few bad eggs in every group but, give me (most) any of the popular political movements, and I bet I could give you a good intention behind it.

This is true for any rival groups: the young and the old, religious followings, the North and the South....the Sharks and the Jets.

One day, we'll solve all arguments with dance-fighting!

If we remember that, we may actually accomplish something in this cut-throat political game.  We're all just humans, trying to do what we think is best. This is not a fairy tale; it's much better than that.

Your First Day of Teaching

 You’re tired, and I mean seriously tired.  The previous week was full of professional development days, preparing your lessons (because, hey, you’re starting from scratch), meetings, setting up your classroom, and a shit ton of requirements that your school decides you need to accomplish AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!  Then, all of a sudden, the day arrives. The students are here. Now you have the plans and materials for maybe two or three days, but you did not think of how to present any of it.

With all of that preparation, you know what to teach but not what type of teacher you want to be.  Any ideal vision of your "teacher self" has been blurred beyond recognition.  And, at that point, it doesn’t matter because, like I said, you’re tired.  So you go through the lessons, switching between strict and understanding like a drunk taking a sobriety test.  

                                          Nobody is giving you an apple.  Leave that dream behind now.

All of that preparation seems to have gone out the window as well because the class period never is the right amount of time.  You are either out of plans, staring at the clock, trying so so hard to move it with your mind while you make up a review game, or you hear the bell ring before you had time to fully discuss the meaning of participle (not to mention give the homework assignment).  

Then your saving grace arrives- planning period.  This is a moment for you.  A time to organize the over-copied syllabi on your desk, to take care of grading, to evaluate your mistakes and tell yourself you will not do that again next period.  It sounds great doesn't it?  But you don't do any of that.  

You run around the school looking for the tech guy because your laptop won't connect to the projector.  You go sit in on another teacher's class in order to see how she does it.   You get lost because you are basically a frightened freshman all over again.

The end of the day arrives.  You survived!  You sit at your desk, more exhausted than you ever thought possible.  You take half an hour to do all the things you had hoped to do during planning period.  Then you stare at the pile of notebooks, plans, and textbooks that must be ready for tomorrow.  Nobody expects you to take that all home right?  Grabbing the lightest things to accomplish that night, you decide to come in early for everything else.  

And you are home at last.

Nothing has changed there despite your hectic day, and, to you, that is the most beautiful sight.  You let your bag drop on the kitchen floor as you stare at the fridge.  A light dinner, a bit of grading, a glance at tomorrow's lesson plans.  That's all you have time for before your body takes over.


Then you sleep like you have never slept before.

Never will I ever...

DISCLAIMER: I try my best do not judge you if you do these things. I just don't ever want to catch myself doing them. Far be it from me to step on somebody's toes.

A few days ago, my younger brother came over to hang out and escape from my parents' house. This ultimately meant that he was forced to help me run errands. I dragged him to and fro, doing “adult chores” for several hours. This must have jostled something loose in his mind because, in the pasta isle of Kroger, he reminded me, “You're getting married in nine months. What are you going to do?”

I gave the comical and immediate answer, “Panic.” Yet, the question had me back in planning mode. I had to get the cake, the invites, etc. I have a tendency to forget those details because I'm more concerned with the marriage as apposed to the wedding. The life time after-party is a bit higher on the list of priorities. Trailing along my thought path, I thought of friends and aquaintences who have already settled down...then laughed. Everyone has what they want to do/be when they are married... but what about what NOT to do or be when married. Thus, I give you my personal list.  Never will I ever:

1. Use the word “hubby.”

        Why oh why do some women find this cute? I see so many facebook statuses, “The hubby and I are out to dinner,” “My hubby is just the best,” and “I love the hubby so much <3.” Is it just me, or is there a supposition of emotional maturity when agreeing to be with someone for the rest of your life? Here is how my brain views this.

Dad :: Daddy; Husband :: Hubby

2. Count anything (relationship-wise) in months.

        Now, if someone asks, “how long have you been married?” and we haven't   hit a year, of course I can't strictly follow this rule, but beyond that, you will NOT see me prancing around proclaiming that it's my two month anniversary.

 

Didn't think I'd have to add "take him on walks" to the list.

3. Become the expert.

       “In order to get a man, you must...” NO! First of all, there is nothing wrong with being single. Some are single by choice and some just haven't found the right person. Either way, this hypothetical person probably hasn't done anything wrong in order to “deserve” singleness. Being married does not give anyone the right to throw out advice as if their exact recipe for relationships with work for everyone's oven settings. More likely than not, you were in the right place at the right time. 

  

4. Use the term “we're pregnant.” 

       You have no clue how irksome that term is. You two are not pregnant; the WOMAN is pregnant.... unless science has discovered something new. Along this line, I will also never be caught saying “preggers” or “prego” (with the exception of pasta sauce).

So there is my list. I've probably shot myself in the foot by making it public. Someone, probably my husband, will catch me breaking my own rule, and I will never hear the end of it. Oh well. At least I'll start out with standards.

Adventures with Sweaty Hands

To quote Poe's The Tell Tale Heart, "TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad?"

Conjure up the image of such a person.  Perhaps he or she has a twitch of the eye?  A habit of pacing?  And, of course, his or her hands must be disgustingly sweaty, as this person wrings them constantly.

Here is my confession- I am nothing like this person, except for the hands.  Sweaty hands make everything awkward.

Seriously.  Think of the basic romantic gesture of holding hands.  Physical contact in a pure and simple manner.  Cute right?  Not if your palm is slipperier than the BP oil spill.  The first date is often fine because it involves talking and food, occasionally a movie.  The second date arises, I figure I like this guy and so I let my heart do its dance as he inches closer to my...hand?  STOP!  I have to kill the mood every. single. time.  There is simply no way to keep a romantic feeling in the air when you're warning someone that he is risking his hygiene by touching you.  If there is no warning, I can see the reaction in his face.

Oh, this is it.  We're moving forward.  Let me just inch my hand to hers.  Oh!  She notices, but she's not moving her hand.  Great.  Time to...oh....oh, that's gross.  It's all wet and warm.  Is she really that nervous?  Will it always be like this?  It's too late now, I'll just have to smile and pretend I didn't notice.  Just wait for the next excuse to let go.

Moving out of the romatic realm and into a more practical one, think how many times you shake someone's hand.  Granted, being Catholic, my tally may be a bit higher than most, but that's beyond the point.  Every time you're introduced to someone, you are expected to shake hands.  When you make an agreement, shake hands.  When you get over a fight, shake hands.  When you're saying goodbye to that person who is not quite a friend with you but not quite unknown to you, shake freaking hands.

Just last Monday, I attended my first session of student teaching.  During my cooperating teacher's planning period, she was kind enough to parade me around the school in order to introduce me to the important people: the principal, the secretary, the janitor, other teachers, etc.  I was in a new mode.  I call it professional.  Unfortunately, that meant I had to shake hands with many people, most of whom will forget they met me and ask for a hall pass within a week.  Upon the normal jitters of taking on the responsibilities of an educator, I was now rather embarrassed in front of what I hoped to be my colleagues.  

Enough whining.  What to do about it?  Some tactics I've found helpful involve quick fixes that won't last long.  One is the old classic of wiping your hand on your pants.  This can be done inconspicuously by putting your hand in your pocket.  It's even better if you have a handkerchief in there.  Another life saver is hand sanitizer.  The alcohol dries like none other!  Washing you hands also works, but I find it gives you a less-gross excuse for having a damp hand.  "Sorry, I just washed my hands" sounds a lot better than "sorry, my body excretes fluids" (No one actually says the second one, but that is how it will always be interpreted).

If you're like me, you just learn to live with the sweat.  Not just live with it, accept it, embrace it, and effing deal with it!  Heck, Joss Whedon turned it into a super power... sort of.

"Do you need anything dampened or made soggy or...?"

A Revelation and A Resolution

I've figured it out!  Or... perhaps I have put something together that everyone already knew.  Regardless, I felt the need to share my discovery.  First allow me to take you on a magical journey through my thought process.

I was driving home from work this summer and contemplating the idea of "nerd" vs "geek".  In doing so, I was trying to dissect the various activities and interests that each stereotypically enjoys. What I found were not the differences but an overwhelming amount of similarities in the PURPOSE of these activities.

Let's name a few:
1. reading (normally in the realm of Science Fiction or Fantasy)
2. LARPing
3. card games (Pokemon, Magic, etc)
4. video games
5. strategy/story based board games
6. anything related to computers (from programming to blogging)
7. cosplay
9. TV shows that deal with the impossible things
10. comic books/manga

Okay... so that list can continue and feel free to add your own, but I have a point to make.  All of these activities center around one thing-- escaping.  The participator is being taken, through imagination/graphics, to another world for a small amount of time.  Granted, the participator knows they are safe and nothing in that world can ACTUALLY harm them, but he or she is willing to fully immerse his or her self anywhere from half an hour to several days.  Nerds and geeks are in a state of escapism.

Now we get to the question of why.  Why, when the actual senses can be tingled and tantalized by reality, would one wish to live in a fantasy world?   Coming from a nerd, let me tell you that it's easier.  Human interaction can be terrifying.  There's this little thing called "trust" that can get you in the back.  The real world offers disappointments and responsibilities.  Starting from the bullying in elementary school, to losing a job or not being able to pay the rent when entering adulthood.  And, to quote Amanda Palmer, "it's so depressing when people die in real life".  It is easier to leave reality for a world where everything is always interesting and, more importantly, not real.  As much as one can become attached to Dumbledore and cry at his death with simple sadness (sorry, was that still a spoiler?  Pfft!) it is easier to deal with that than to go through the complicated slew of emotions that come from losing a grandparent-- sadness, yes, but also guilt for not spending enough time with them, confusion as to why, possibly disgust at seeing a body, and then back to guilt.

Oops, I hit on serious... I swear this thing is writing itself.  Anyway, I'm not saying this is a good thing.  To escape from time to time is needed, and sometimes healthy.  Yet, I want to be able to look back on my life and tell a next generation of  what I accomplished, the people I met, the mistakes I made and what I learned from them.  I don't want to be prompted to tell them about my younger years and respond... "Well, I slew that dragon of...... I fell in love with The Doctor..... I ..... I... " things at all add up to I read, I watched TV, and I played games.

On Swearing (AKA Call me a prude)

In my mind there are two types of swearing, using words that have been deemed inappropriate and taking the Lord’s name in vain.

Now every language has it’s own form of cursing or swearing, ESPECIALLY a “developed“ society. It’s only natural. When one cannot express their stronger emotions in a physical manner one finds an outlet in language. A developed society often looks down upon said physical reactions (ie fighting) and, although they don’t condone the use of foul language, it is accepted as a less damaging focus.

Surprise upon surprise, I think this is great. Language is the way humans have discovered to deal with emotions. In a study (which I really wish I could give you a solid reference) it was proven that humans who swore could deal with physical pain for a longer period of time than those who didn’t. Yes, it’s all mental, but isn’t that the point?

Now here comes the downside. People swear to look cool. We’ve all fallen into it at some point or another. To quote Spongebob, words are used as “sentence enhancers” rather than actual stress relief. This is, first off, annoying, and more importantly dangerous to the language. The whole point of curse words to have a more intense form of language on which to fall back. When these words become common place, it ruins the intensity.

The second form of swearing is putting one of these words next to “God”. Now, there are some cases when one is actually calling out to a God, and if that is the case, go for it. Otherwise, I ask you as nicely as possible to please avoid this. God is a term used by many religions and, like a swear, it is a very powerful word. If it were not, it would not be used in such a manner so often. If not for respect to said God, than for the respect of the people who hold a high deity dear to them, please understand what you’re saying.

I guess that is what this all comes down to; understand what you are saying